Bar Etiquette

OH MY GOD, I'm making an entry over here. This one's for all you bar flies, alcoholics, and otherwise club goers:

It's Friday (or Saturday, take your pick) night. You're going out to the bar/club to drink and dance with your friends, and perhaps make a couple of new ones. Here are a few tips and reminders to help ensure the best possible experience for both you and your server/bar staff.

1. Before you even leave your house, grab a pen! You are going out to a club; you're trying to meet members of your gender of choice. Do NOT expect your busy bartender to have a pen for you and the other 800 people in the club. Either store the number in your cellphone or BRING YOUR OWN PEN, dammit.
2. After you have received your drink order, paid for it, gotten your change, and left a tip, please considerately step aside so that other alcoholics can get to the bar. I have a line here, and we all want to keep it moving.
3. I'm not kidding about the tipping. You'd be amazed how good a bartender's memory is. One hand washes the other, and if you want anyone to "hook you up" you'd better put your money where your mouth is. I'm sorry, but that's the business. I take care of the people who tip me - that means you're drinking Ultra, and I've only got three bottles left, I'll save them for you if you're a consistent tipper. As opposed to forking it over to anyone who asks for one. By the same token, if you stiff me enough times or on a big order, you'd best not come back. And don't think there's nothing a bartender can do to a bottle/can of beer, right before your eyes.
4. Never whistle, hoot, or bang things on the bar, or yell out "hey nurse!" or such witticisms. I mean, unless you want to be blatantly ignored, right in your face.
5. If you are being rude (ie. standing in the way of other people) and I have to ask you to move aside or whatever (and if you tipped, I'm even polite!) then don't you dare have the cajones to look at me like I'm the one being rude.

There will be more to follow, but this is off the top of my head.

I bitched on Wednesday, July 10, 2002.